Week 8: The Pattern Break Practice
Now it’s time to use our emotional intelligence skills to break some patterns!
This week, we introduce a powerful practice for breaking repeating patterns by releasing the emotional driver of the pattern. You will need to complete the exercises from last week (Week 7) to prepare for this week’s practice.
- Watch videos (0801, 0802, 0803) and read the article (Why We Get Anxious When Good Things Happen).
- If you haven’t already, complete the preparation exercises from Week 7 (Choose A Pattern, Find The Emotional Driver)
- Reflect and/or journal about the emotional drivers of your repeating patterns
- Try the Pattern Release practice (0804)
- Continue practising Emotional Pressure Release and Pattern Break practices
Video 0801: Introduction to the Pattern Break Practice
Important information about how to set yurself up for success with the Pattern Break practice – how the two intelligences co-ordinate in this exercise; the right physical, mental, and emotional preparation; common pitfalls and how to avoid them.
Video 0802: The Inner Partnership
An introduction to the power of co-ordinated effort between the analytical (conscious) and the experiencing (subconscious) intelligences.
Transcript: Video 0802
Why We Get Anxious When Good Things Happen
When your body becomes accustomed to a chronic state of anxiety, the positive physiological changes that happen after good news can, paradoxically, trigger the sense that something isn’t right ― simply because you’re not used to feeling good …
The Pattern Break Practice
Before trying the Pattern Break practice, choose a pattern and identify the emotional driver of that pattern. Instructions and guided practice to complete this preparation can be found in the Week 7 multimedia material.
Video 0803: Preparing for the Practice
Guided Practice: Pattern Break
Break a repeating pattern by releasing the emotion that drives it.
Transcript: Video 0804
Pattern Break (audio)
- Which of your repeating patterns are too trivial, or too intense, to use for the first attempt at pattern release?
- Which of your repeating patterns are in the “Goldilocks zone” – not too big, not too small, but just right … ?
- What is your experience with the Emotional Pressure Release practice now that you have practiced for a few weeks? Has it become natural to pause and observe what is happening in your system? Or have you encountered obstacles?
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do I decide which pattern to break first?
A: Try not to overthink the decision-making process (and you might want to check whether overthinking or indecision are themselves patterns for you …)
If the pattern is big enough to come to mind as an option, it is big enough. If you can think about breaking the pattern without panic or dissociation, it’s not too big.
It is probably wise to start with a pattern that happens regularly, within a short timeframe, so that you can see for yourself as soon as possible whether you have succeeded in breaking or weakening the pattern.
Q: When I do the Pattern Release practice, it never seems like I could let go of the emotion. How do I do that?
A: If you ask yourself the question “could I [let go of this]?” and the answer is “no”, it simply means that the emotion is still serving an important purpose in your subconscious system.
We will not let go of anything that we believe we still need.
The answer is not to get more willpower, or learn a new technique – any stuck emotion will release as soon as it is no longer needed. The answer is simply to discover what purpose the emotion is serving, and find a way to fulfil that purpose in a more healthy, sustainable, comfortable way.
In coming weeks, you will get specific practices for learning this kind of information, and negotiating better ways to meet needs. In the meanwhile, if you remain open to receiving this knowledge, you may find that it comes to you spontaneously during your Emotional Pressure Release practice.
References, optional further study and additional practices
Brown, B. (2007): Shame Resilience Theory. In S.P.Robbins, P.Chatterjee & E.R.Canda (Eds.), Contemporary human behavior theory: A critical perspective for social work (Rev. ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn and Bacon.
Brown, B. (2007): I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth About Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power. New York, NY: Penguin/Gotham.
Brown, Brené (2017). Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. Random House UK. ISBN 978-1785041754.
Minor, Amanda J. (2016). “Internal Family Systems Model”. In Carlson, Jon; Dermer, Shannon B. (eds.). The SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family, and Couples Counseling.
From thought leader Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability.
The technique of voice dialogue (internal family systems) as an example of the transformational psychology approach.
The most unlikely-sounding fear that can prevent you from making positive changes in your life.
About Transformational Psychology
Transformational Psychology (TP) is a synthesis of Humanistic and Transpersonal Psychology, and aims to integrate physical, emotional, mental as well as spiritual energies.
The physician W. Brugh Joy, who came up with the name Transformational Psychology in 1975, wrote, “Access to broadened states of consciousness is the most important characteristic that distinguishes Transformational Psychology from other, more conventional approaches.”
In practice, transformation takes place when we are capable of accepting the tension between opposing energies in ourselves and honouring the various needs and desires of these energies.
When this transformation network results in integration and therefore balance and “becoming whole”, man can liberate himself from conditioning and become reconnected to his essence.
The techniques in the Emotional Mastery program have the potential to cause transformational shifts in the psyche. Used effectively, these techniques can give you access to broadened states of consciousness, and the ability to “rewire you brain” – to create new neural pathways and develop a stronger foundation for the entire emotional system.
“You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”