Is it really true that desire inevitably fades in long term relationships? Science says “no”!
One of the most heartbreaking things I see when working with couples is the situation where one or both partners believe “that time in our relationship is over”. Time and again, I see people yearning for the connection, the passion, the joy and aliveness that comes with a passionate romantic relationship.
I have even seen people leave a relationship with someone they love very deeply, because of the false belief that “if I don’t feel attraction , it means I am just not in love with them any more”.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
For people who feel trapped, lost, and desperate in a sexless or low-sex relationship, I am here to tell you that there is definitely hope. If there was attraction between you at the start of the relationship, then you have a basic biological compatibility, and that attraction can always be restored.
A lot of advice about this is grounded in false assumptions about sexual desire, and following that advice can make things worse, not better!
In this Special Investigation, we examine the “common wisdom” about rekindling desire, where it goes wrong, and the surprising truth about what is possible in a long-term relationship.
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Lasting Passion – Is It Possible?
While we really hope that we can have a deeply passionate connection with a partner, and have it last for decades, we are told that this is simply impossible.
We look around, and the people who have been together for years seem to have “settled”. They often seem to love one another, but in a friendly way, rather than with true passion. Even the experts will tell you … passion fades over time.
Somewhere around one in six American marriages are “sexless,” depending on how that term is defined.
One study found that 16 percent of married couples hadn’t had sex in the month prior to being contacted for the National Survey of Families and Households.
And another study by University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, a leading researcher in his field, concluded that about 14 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women had had little or no sex within the previous year.
One study found that 14 percent of married men hadn’t had sex in the past year.
Statistics from Jim Thornton, Men’s Health magazine
Another significant proportion of relationships, while not “sexless”, have less sex than one or both partners would like. 57 percent of men in long-term relationships aren’t happy with the amount of sex they’re having, according to a new Chapman University survey.
But wait! It’s not all bad news!
32 percent of people surveyed by Chapman University said their sex lives were just as passionate now as they had been in the first six months of their relationships.
So, what makes the difference? What are the 32% doing right? And if you find yourself in the other two-thirds of the population, what can you do to change things?
To start with, it is very important to understand that there is a LOT of bad advice out there. Recommendations which not only won’t work in the long run, but may actually make your situation worse!
To find out what really does work, get your advice from someone who is a living example of success. Jenny Hale has maintained a loving and passionate relationship for over 10 years, and it has grown stronger and more passionate with time.
Jenny has a track record of helping people to understand what is happening in their relationships. She provides clear, easy-to-understand, actionable advice.
Get immediate access to Jenny’s Special Investigation, Lasting Passion: Why Tips and Techniques Don’t Work (and What Really Does) – completely free!
BONUS: when you request the Lasting Passion Special Investigation, you can also access FREE bonus materials to support you in doing the things that really do work to maintain lasting passion in your own relationships.
“Stress, physical exhaustion and mental health issues may all contribute to consistently low sexual desire in both sexes. While the stereotype is often that women are the only ones who stop wanting sex in long-term relationships, men can just as easily feel less inclined toward sex.”
Gia Ravozzi, sex therapist.
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“My partner and I went through a year of a very difficult relationship. Jnani was there as a mediator and counselor every step of the way. Thanks to her we managed to stay together, sorted out our issues and are now madly in love, even more than ever before!
Nadya, Koh Phangan, Thailand
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